other people’s pregnancies

There is no denying it. It is very difficult for us infertiles to hear of someone else's pregnancy. I don't care if they are a total stranger, it's still difficult. Heck, it's difficult for us to look at pregnant women on the street without breaking down in tears.

Deep in our hearts we want to be happy, share the joy, but it's just so very, very, very difficult for us because it is a reminder of what we so badly long for but may never have.

We like kids, we want kids, so you'd think we'd be overjoyed to hear when someone is having one (or two). But the only people we are able to truly be excited for is another infertile. "Yay, they made it to the other side, maybe there's still hope for me . . ."

But any other pregnancy is just a dagger through our heart. A reminder of what we are lacking.

No, we'd rather not attend your baby shower, but yes, we'd like to be invited and know we have not fallen completely off your radar. But yes, it is asking too much for us to go into the baby department (or worse, into a BabysRUs) to purchase a gift for your impending bundle of joy.

And when you do decide to tell us about your impending bundle of joy, and please do tell us, don't let us, God-forbid, read about it on Facebook, or hear about it from a third party. Please take care in telling us and don't expect us to be overjoyed. And let us know that you know how difficult this must be for us to hear, and let us know that you don't expect us to be overjoyed.

Take care with your infertile friends, they are among the most fragile.